But you have to admit that Groundhog Day is by far the dumbest thing on our calendar. Let's examine the logic:
cloudy day = no shadow = end of winter;
sunny day = shadow = winter.
So, if I'm understanding this right, if it is snowing, or will be snowing soon, there will be no shadow and...winter is over? Alternatively, if it is sunny and 70 degrees, that clearly means...6 more weeks of winter?
What @*#%&$# made this up? Seriously, at least with the other stupid Pagan traditions, there was some capatilist reasoning behind continuing our activities (e.g. candy hearts and flowers on Valentine's Day).
I have an alternate explaination to today's events in Punxsutawney: A goundhog was pulled out of a cage and lifted 8 feet in the air with one hand (something that most animals really like...you should try it with my cat)--
Doesn't he look happy?
30,000+ people start screaming and cheering--and Phil goes and hides. Call me crazy, but I'm thinking he wasn't afraid of his shadow.
If that isn't enough to convince you of the utter retardedness of the day's festivities, we'll look at side by side stats. Punxsutawney Phil and Spanish Joe (the Canadian version) lead the league in most favorite groundhog status. They live within 500 miles of each other. In the past 10 years Phil has gone with 6 more weeks of winter 8/10 times, whereas Joe has gone with early spring 8/10 times. Sounds to me like the American hog is a lot smarter because he figured out how to get more sleep. U. S. A. U. S. A.!!
Does everyone agree that this is a tad bit dumb? If not, I'd love to hear the reaons that you think any Groundhog Day event in this day and age is still noteworthy, newsworthy, or should be given any thought whatsoever.
Am I ranting again? BTW: Feel free to rant in the cave (without whining of course)...rant = good.
6 comments:
I whole-heartedly agree, Nate. Every year in Punxsutawney, PA, a stupid man in a stupid top hat pulls a stupid groundhog out of a stupid air-conditioned burrow and puts the stupid groundhog on the ground, where he either sees his stupid shadow or it doesn’t. Then the stupid man in the stupid top hat lifts the stupid groundhog high over his head so the stupid media can take pictures and run stupid feel-good stories in their stupid newspapers.
Oh, how I wish the stupid man in the stupid top hat would find a pair of goalposts and kick a 20-yard field goal with the stupid groundhog. I wish for it every year and it never happens.
If a stupid groundhog is the best that stupid town can do to attract some attention, then Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania must have about as much going for it as Vernal, UT (which, I can assure you, is not much).
Happy Groundhog Day, everyone.
Bravo, good rant.
“You are all a bunch of hypocrites groundhog day use to means something around here. They use to take the stupid thing out and they ate it.” About the only thing good to come out of groundhogs day is the Bill Murray Movie the rest of it is just plain stupid. The only reason I can figure they still do it is so the kids can make some stupid project at school instead of really learning something important….. I hate Halloween also dressing up and going around and begging for candy….. but that can be a post in my blog in October……. Even the groundhog thinks its stupid in a great act of civil disobedience in New York Mayor Bloomberg was bitten by Charles G Hogg. Groundhogs of the world unite put an end to this pointless ritual.
I'm thinking some stupid activist group was upset at certain southeners for a new recepie book with all of your favorite ground hog dishes. Ground hog soup, ground hog casserole surprise, and the favorite ground hog razzelberry pie. So in turn, stupid activists came up with said stupid holiday in an effort to make ground hogs seem cute or at the very least neccesary for weather perdicting.
Stupid ground hog lovin' activists group. I mean, who are we to tell poeple what they can and can't eat!
Okay, now I'm pi..ticked off. I decided in the middle of my rant to google the history of ground hogs day....there's five minutes I'll never get back! Needless to say...no activists. #%@*#
As for the movie Ground Hogs Day...good flick. I like Bill Murray's sage advice to the ground hog when he says, "don't drive angry." So, I guess one good thing came out of the stupid holiday.
Charles G Hogg is a hero. Pretty soon NY is going to tax ground hog holes.
"Pretty soon NY is going to tax ground hog holes."
Classic.
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